20 hours in Istanbul

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Istanbul is the furthest country I’ve been to and also my first European country. Seriously, 20 hours in Istanbul is not enough! Istanbul is beyond amazing and it never fails to mesmerize me, well try asking those who have been there – pretty sure you’ll get good reviews about the city! I feel like coming again and again.

It was a very rewarding experience actually to visit Istanbul during winter. I was expecting the city to be snowing when I arrived, but sadly it didn’t. And exactly a week after I left the city, Istanbul had a massive snowfall. So unfair. Apart from the freezing weather plus the wind (basically everyone hates the wind) coming from the sea, Istanbul is truly beautiful. Every angle of the city is Instagram-worthy (lol), and the best thing about Turkey is it’s a Muslim country! Life abroad definitely feels ten times easier when you travel to Muslim countries – halal food everywhere, toilet with water (haha) and being able to pray in a proper place.

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Since my family and I flew to Egypt with Turkish Airlines, so we had the awesome privileges being one of the many transit passengers on Turkish Airlines. Since our layover was beyond 12 hours, therefore we could choose to either spend our layover at a hotel nearby or join a tour group to visit Istanbul. Obviously, we chose the latter considering that it was my first time in Istanbul so why not grab the chance? What’s more awesome is that everything’s FOC!! You name it – from transportation to and fro the airport, breakfast & lunch, entrance tickets and hotel rooms. You only need to bring some Lira cash and voila, you’re set to go!

And when they really mean free breakfast & lunch, they do mean it and you’ll be served some great local cuisine. Fyi, we had our breakfasts inside a restaurant facing the Bosphorus Sea (omg omg omg) and holy cow, the view of the sea in the morning is shit amazing! It was like a dream to be there, enjoying the sunny rays amidst of the cold weather.

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For the Istanbul city tour, you can always choose your preferred type of tours depending on your layover period and also your stamina, too haha. And please, if you’re bringing along your parents, please never ever take the walking tour. My parents and I took the effing walking tour and the walk was beyond our expectations. No joke, man, no joke, because streets in Istanbul are quite hilly so it was quite a pain. I think we walked around 10 kilometres and I myself ran out of breath, what more my parents.

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some streets we were passing by on our way to the Blue Mosque

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Plus, it was winter so weather’s very dry and sweating never helped to warm up our body. Our other group members walked so fast ahead of us but good thing we didn’t get lost in the city! However, as tiring as it seemed to be, I loved the tour. They brought us to few streets where not many tourists go to. So, it was a nice opportunity to have the local scenes to our own. For example, I remember seeing a lamp shop which is designed so beautifully but at the same time reflects the Turkish style. And there are some restaurants with vibrant colours wall paint and also walking past Turkish tea shops where locals would sit outside and enjoy the tea in the cold winter. Everything felt surreal 🙂

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the lamp shop that I was talking about

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Malaysia needs this kind of building more!

Since it was a half-day tour, we pretty much went to common tourist spots near Sultan Ahmet area. One of the places is the trademark of Istanbul, the Blue Mosque. The moment I saw the Blue Mosque, I couldn’t stop looking at it. Jaw-dropping. The typical me would quickly take lots of pictures but at that time, I decided to put my phone aside and just feast my eyes with this majestic view. Who cares about the pictures plus you can always Google it? Sometimes we really need to just put down those tech/gadget stuffs and enjoy the moment. Our eyes and mind deserve to view those beautiful things ‘live’ too. Let those moments be exclusively ours.

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inside Blue Mosque: the significant red carpet and the chandeliers

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Hagia Sophia is also an amazing piece of art. I mean, it has witnessed the city growing since it was called Constantinople to Antalya and now, Istanbul. And do expect some queues before entering the area because that place never gets empty!  And that pretty much proves that Turkey is a country where tourists flock to regardless of the season. Especially Istanbul which is a melting pot of history, cultures and cuisines. Speaking of local cuisines, we had our lunch at a famous meatball restaurant near Hagia Sophia.

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From left: Turkish yogurt called Ayran, lamb meatball (idk why meatball when it isn’t even round shape lol), bits of salads

The lunch was nice but it could have been better if they put more herbs and spices. After the lunch, we walked out of the restaurant feeling so full and continued our walk to the Grand Bazaar. It is a huge area and they sell so many things from food to clothing.

the entrance to Grand Bazaar and also the prayer area inside a mosque near Grand Bazaar

After buying some souvenirs and Turkish candies, we headed to the airport and everyone passed out in the bus. HAHAHA. Definitely one of the best day in my 2016.

Here’s the link if you want to find out more about those free tours provided by Turkish Airlines for its transit passengers 🙂

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See you again, Turkey 😉

my skincare journey

Since it’s my 100th post (yeay!), so I thought why not write about something I’m really into these days. Yeap, you read the title – skin to the care.

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Have you ever had any friends who seem to not even have a single zit on their faces and there are no scars to be seen? And when you ask them, how do you take care of your skin and they’ll reply i dunno ….. HAHAHA, happens to me a lot since I’m the one who’s on the questioning side.

I later understood that most of them have ‘beautiful-skin’ genes inherited from either of their parents. As lucky as it may seem to be, everyone has their own struggles with their skins. Some struggle with large pores, some with uneven skin tones and some face problems with their blackheads. See the point there? No use comparing our skin (especially skin colour) cuz trust me, every skin colour has its pros and cons. For instant, I’ve seen people with dark tones who have superb, glowing skin while I’ve come across people with fair tones with visible scars and redness.

However, it’s so obvious that nowadays in Malaysia, cosmetics is all about whitening. Some Malaysians are obsessed with having fair complexion. It’s like beautiful is equivalent to having fair skin. Worse, some companies aiming for profits decided to put aside the quality of the products. The ingredients aren’t skin-nourishing, plus some contain dangerous chemicals that could harm our skin directly. For instant, mercury. So, readers, please embrace your skin colour. Be happy with it and over time, improve your skin condition by learning how to properly take care of it!

how it started

meet my beauty guru

For your information, I’ve been loving this skincare thingy so much since I came across a Youtube channel called Gothamista last year (pls go check her out!!). She’s my go-to Youtuber when it comes to skincare plus I really love the fact that skincare is her number one priority, not makeups. I stand by her belief since makeups are not my forte, sorry. Her reviews are REAL and thoroughly made with all those explanations about the content of the product itself. She’s an Asian so that’s quite another factor lol #proudasians . She made her reviews really good that I feel like purchasing those products instantly! And I’m quite thankful actually to be learning about skincare from her in my early 20s so I can start prepping my skin to be the best it can during my 30 ++ in future.

my past

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me in 2013

My commitment (lol) towards this skincare journey began only last year after A-Levels. I was so busy focusing on my studies that I abandoned my skin, sadly. Even during my high school/college days, I didn’t use any products on my skin – haha those days when my skin aspired to be chemical-free lol! Silly Saf, really silly. I didn’t bother to at least wash my face with facial cleansers at all. Usually, after finishing classes on a hectic day, I’d resort to just splashing my tired skin with normal tap water and that was it. No toner. No essence. No moisturizer. What more sunscreen. And now, I am not really surprised why my skin was behaving badly during high school and college – I didn’t even bother to treat them instead I just waited for those zits to shrink and life goes on. Nowadays, I would cringe a lot looking at my past (standing directly under the hot sun during sports day smh) because imagine, at the age of 17-20, your skin is waiting to be pampered with lots of vitamins and nourishing ingredients. Plus, you’re at the peak of the teenagers era so yeah. And you’d always wonder why celebrities have super beautiful skin. Obviously it’s due to consistent skincare routines and facial treatments.

However, I’m excited to be learning A LOT of things regarding skincare at this age. For example, I got to discover my skin type and my skin major concerns. And seriously, if you haven’t started yet, you should now. Just go to Youtube and explore the endless videos about skincare; there’s always something new to discover and learn from the amazing Youtubers.

Btw, my skin is far from the ‘flawless’ status and I’m trying to enjoy the journey towards achieving the best skin condition for me. Having a flawless (flawless is so overrated nowadays, isn’t it) skin is definitely a bonus since you can achieve any makeup looks effortlessly and you’ll have a smoother canvas to work on. But please, consult someone professional like the dermatologists if you have serious skin concerns (eczema, cystic acne, extreme redness, etc). Most importantly, I’d really suggest you guys to do some research on your skin type (so important!!!!) and the products relevant to treating your skin concerns. Never ever go for the fake ones ok. Trust me, they’ll do a lot of damages to you.

And if someone were to ask me on the best skincare products, I’d say that most of the time it’s a trial-and-error process. Recommendations/reviews can always be considered but you shouldn’t put depend 100 percent on them. Let’s face the fact that sometimes Product A may work amazingly on others but not on you and vice versa. The least you could do is to know your skin type and make some research on the best ingredients for your skin concern.

I think it’ll be great to share bits of my skincare routine and product reviews on my blog in the future. Who knows, it might help you guys to carefully choose your own skincare needs 🙂

Until the next post!

 

 

surviving my first week in university

Finally, after 16 months of holiday, I’m back to continuing my studies! 16 FREAKING MONTHS OMG THAT WAS THE LONGEST BREAK I’VE EVER HAD! I’m fully satisfied and no worries, I had enough rest already so bring it on uni! My brain got completely recharged, lol I think overcharged (haha) so I’m excited to get those lazy nerves back on working mode!

As a matter of fact, I started my degree quite late at the age of 21. I was supposed to continue my degree in the UK, but due to some problems, I had to ditch the offer. Sokay though. As sad as how my situation appeared to be, I’m glad that it happened. Not going to the UK opened some amazing doors for me like being able to travel to Egypt, spending more time with my cat and perhaps being able to be closer to home, especially to my parents. I’m so attached to my family for the past 2 years and maybe being distant from them would bring me more harm than good. I don’t know, but God certainly knows what he is doing. Despite the situation, the past 4 months were completely amazing – I took up some part time jobs, I wrote on my blog a lot and my life is happier with my cat. And most importantly, I got over the sadness!

How was my first day?

My first day in dental school went nicely! Went through the basic registration stuffs – documents submission, ID picture photo session, heard some welcoming speeches and received my coats. I was a bit nervous the night before registration day; thinking whether is this the right path or would I be able to adapt to the new environment. God knows how nervous I felt because obviously, my brain has been in SLEEP mode for the past 16 months and who knows, it might be rusty inside? Hahaha.

I hate being in a completely new environment, actually. It’s like you have to re-start life all over again and meet new people, introduce your name and get into few conversations. And then you would have some awkward silences when both parties do not know what else to talk about, haih. I hate awkward moments, guys. If possible, I’d like to skip that phase and just go to the part where everyone knows each other and can simply talk about anything comfortably. But of course, life doesn’t work that way, so awkward moments are inevitable.

My second day began with me waking up early at 5 to commute to university. Yes, I’m staying at home currently and in the time being, I’m planning to commute daily to university. As hard as it seems, it is not (alhamdulillah). Idk, God really plans this well like my university is just located across the LRT station and my journey to uni only takes 1 hour 15 minutes! There are some pros and cons too but thankfully, my journey everyday has been smooth. No delays and no latecomers yeay! And it made me appreciate home more because I get to see my beloved family and cat every day.

Of course on the first week, you couldn’t escape those briefings about your course, insurance thingy, tuition fees and other stuff. Guess who didn’t ever sleep inside the hall? 😉 Sort of achievement for me since I’m not a morning person hehe. And yes, I made some friends! New freaking friends haha. Here’s some names in case I forget ok – Shaza, Audrey, Celine, Caroline, Victor, Yi Hang, Wan Shing, Eunice, Nishya. You know what?There are only around 10 Malays in my batch hahaha so finally I can mingle around non-Malays after so long of not being able to. At first, it felt hmm different but over time, I adapted. It’s nice to get out of the shell sometimes and mix with the different races. Definitely 1 Malaysia 😀 And they are so so so so nice too 🙂 #grateful

So far, so good alhamdulillah. I’m hoping for the best in my years to come in dental school because I know that things will be more difficult each semester and more challenges will come and hit me. I think I’ll just sit back and take everything one at a time plus enjoy the experience of learning! That’s what matter in life – to enjoy what you do!

Wish me luck!

Exploring Cairo: of mosques & new year eve

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After sightseeing at Salahudin Citadel, we headed to Mosque of Amr ibn al-As in the old city of Cairo. Fyi, Cairo is known as the city with 1000 minarets! Mosques are pretty muuch scattered around the city and it was a beautiful thing to listen to different athans whenever prayer times.  Sort of reminding us that in whatever circumstances, never ever skip praying.

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the praying areas inside the mosque 

Up next, we went to Mosque of Imam Syafie around 20 minutes drive away. There, lies the mausoleum of Imam Syafie, one of the great 4 imams whose legacy on juridical matters and teaching led him to Shafie Mazhab. Speaking of him, most South East Asian Muslims would be familiar with him because we Muslims are practising according to his mazhab.

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The ambiance inside the mosque is so calming and I love how everything inside the mosque is greenish. As a matter of fact, in Islam green is similar to peace 🙂 It was a remarkable experience to visit the mosque that once witnessed one of the greatest Islamic scholars and indeed I am grateful for the chance. Alhamdulillah. Imam Syafie was an inspiration and I wish to be an excellent student like how he did in the past. He was bornt in Gaza, Palestine and passed away in Egypt. He always seek for his teacher to learn and most of the time, he’d try to live as close to his teachers, all for the sake of gaining knowledge. MasyaaAllah.

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We wanted to visit Imam Syafie’s mausoleum but it was closed due to renovation. After that, we proceeded to the Khalel Khalily, a shopping street where you can buy some souvenirs to be brought home. The atmosphere at that time was pretty lit considering it was New Year Eve haha! Locals strolling by with their beloved ones; restaurant were filled with customers and waiters promoting their menus; kids selling some toys and buses honking at the traffic. You could sniff smoke from the shisha and the kebabs being grilled in front of the restaurant and immediately hunger strikes you. Ahh, good times.

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some shops sell souvenirs, some sell leather bags and some sell beautiful lamps!

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those lamps are so so so pretty at night!!

There are A LOT of shops selling souvenirs on the street so make sure you try your best to negotiate! I’m not good at bargaining so I left the job to my mother and sisters lol 😅 We bought many souvenirs and btw, they don’t only sell keychains, there are a lot of beautiful accessories too (bracelets, rings, pendants, etc).

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super busy traffic!

As time passed by, it got colder and the street got even busier. Restaurants were full house and you could hear musics blasting around the street; obviously people were excited to welcome New Year!

We stayed until 9 pm because we had to rush back to our motel to pack our stuffs since we would be leaving to Siwa that night. It was a long day indeed but worth remembering. We had our 12 am moments inside the van at the highway and I saw some fireworks in the sky. Hello 2017!

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to more of seeing this kind of view in future insyaaAllah 🙂

To end my post, I feel so grateful that we met such nice people and our journey was sailing smooth. From meeting Ustaz Yusof to visiting the historical mosques, I wish I could spend more days in Cairo. There are sure lots of other less-travelled paths in Cairo and I hope to see you again, Cairo 😊

Exploring Cairo: museum & citadel

My second day in Cairo was quite meaningful, since it was also the last day of 2016 calendar. Even in Malaysia, I’ve never celebrated New Year outside (a stay-at-home kinda person lol), what more celebrating it abroad! Yezza, so here we go, the last day of twenty sixteen in Cairo 😉


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Our 31st December began with us waking up early to join the crowd at Egyptian Museum near Tahrir Square. p/s: Tahrir Square was the place where the Egypt Revolution occurred 6 years ago. Now, alhamdulillah, things got better and it was a nice atmosphere seeing locals walking around with their families. So, we queued up a bit since there were lots of other tourists too waiting to enter the museum. You know, I personally think that a museum trip in Egypt is a must because obviously, Egypt is all about its history. It’ll be a huge miss to not explore the real stories behind those pyramids and pharaohs plus you can learn something new too.

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Guided by none other than Ustaz Yusof (heh), we went to the section where the information and artifacts from Early Dynastic Period (c. 3050-2686 BC). In simpler words, the earliest dynasty on the Ancient Egypt history timeline. The museum is quite big so prepare yourself to spend more than 2 hours there. Do bring along any history books/encyclopaedia because trust me, you’ll understand better 🙂

Visiting Tutankhamun’s fortunes, he was super rich smh

Since we had other places to cover in Cairo, we managed to spend only an hour in the museum. It was a great opportunity to be able to witness Tutankhamun’s amazing fortunes that he hid inside his tomb (everything he had is made from pure gold!!). Btw, the museum also has a room where the mummies would be displayed but visitors need to pay to enter. We didn’t because it was a bit expensive hahah plus I dislike mummies because obviously they are dead bodies so yeah nope..

After taking photos and stuff, we left. Lunchtime was so near so we decided why not (again) have a Malaysian lunch? Hahaha typical Malaysians abroad. Can’t live without rice XD We had nasi campur in the Malaysian Hall canteen and we were lucky that there were still plenty of food left. I think most might agree with me on this, but seriously Malaysian food tastes 100 times better abroad!! I remember that feeling when eating Maggi in Siwa in the middle of the freezing weather…tasted like heaven!

As we all know, food makes us feel better. Haha. Then, we continued our sightseeing to my favourite place in Cairo – Saladin Castle or Cairo Citadel.The Citadel sometimes is referred to as Mohamed Ali Citadel because it contains the Mosque of Muhammad Ali Pasha, who conquered Cairo in 1805. He’s a Turkish/Ottoman so you might see a bit of Ottoman architecture influence on the mosque itself, similar to the Blue Mosque in Istanbul. There are few museums around the area and also other mosques to explore. At the end of the day, it was an experience to witness the great history of Muslim rulers who built such amazing monument and we should learn to appreciate whatever they had left.

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Mohamed Ali Pasha Mosque with the blue sky of Cairo 🙂

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Those marbles were freezing cold and guess who walked barefoot inside? 

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look at how similar the praying area inside the mosque is to the Blue Mosque..the lighting they use are pretty much the same!

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fyi, you can enjoy the picturesque view of the old city of Cairo from the castle 🙂 So grateful to be able to get the chance to be there. ❤

to be continued!

Exploring Cairo: day 1

From Siwa, let’s continue on my previous journey to Cairo.

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It’s true when people say, “You haven’t been to Egypt until you witness the Giza pyramids.” Haha, omg yes. I mean, if you ask every single tourists on why they come to Egypt, most will mention about the pyramids. Undeniably, the pyramids are one of the seven ancient wonders of the world and I’m impressed to how the Egyptians thousands years ago could build such pyramids.

There are a lot of theories on how the pyramids were built but let’s just assume that they were created by geniuses. Being able to go see them (alhamdulillah), it made feel thankful and amazed at the same time. I had fun but hey, Cairo isn’t just about the pyramids. There are a lot of other interesting places as well that you might want to visit. And trust me, Cairo is abundant with history and cultures.

The journey from Alexandria to Cairo took us around 3 and a half hours via highway. We departed in the morning and arrived around afternoon at our motel. I was excited catching a glimpse of the pyramids upon arriving in Cairo!! Finally, I’m here. Obviously, our first destination was the Giza pyramids so after lunch we went there with our guide. He’s Ustaz Yusof, an Indonesian currently studying in Al-Azhar and at the same time runs a tour service in Cairo. Very kind and patient in waiting. And yes, he’s very good in taking pictures. Talented, I must say.

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Hello pyramid yuhuuuu

After the security check blablabla, we walked a bit to the first pyramid. Fun facts, there are 3 major pyramids (the large ones) in total in Giza. Real reason behind the pyramids? They serve as tombs for the pharaohs and their queens. Additional fees if you want to see the tombs in the pyramid.

As usual, many locals approached us and offered to take our pictures and some of them sell souvenirs around the pyramids. Btw, one tips here, if you do not plan to buy anything, avoid making eye contact and also do not show any rejection to them. Whatever they tell/do, just ignore them and walk away. They are very experienced and it’s ok to not buy, okay?

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First stop – Khufu pyramid or the Great Pyramid

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As small as it looks, the area is very wide and it’s in the middle of desert.

It got pretty windy there and you would want to bring your sunnies with you. Thankfully, the sun was up so that made the wind bearable. We began our walk to the first pyramid, Khufu pyramid. When I tried to climb those rocks (whatever you call them) of the pyramids, I never thought that it could be that high. Imagine the rocks at the base, it was my height wowwwww. How on earth did Egyptians build this? It’s something unimaginable to think of and at the same time, mind blowing. What an empire..

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hiiii there

Ustaz Yusof is a nice guy haha. He knew that we all wanted to take pictures first, so he called us to line up infront of him and we then gave him our phones for him to take the photos. Quickly, he said, “baik, kalian sudah di sini, jadi saya bakal ceritakan sedikit tentang pyramid ini..” Nice trick there, Ustaz. Haha, I love his explanations because there were a lot to learn about the ancient pyramids especially from the perspective of Islam. He told us about the structure of the pyramids itself and how there were cracks everywhere on the floor due to an earthquake a long time ago. Ask him anything and he’ll be glad to answer. Btw, from the pyramids, you can enjoy the beautiful Cairo skyline, especially the blue sky 😀

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p/s: we were told that ages ago, actually the pyramids were nearby the Nile River and those wide compound you see above were actually a part of the Nile River!

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The pyramid tour didn’t just simply end there. We went to another spot which is the most ideal place to take cool pictures. Not just say-cheese kind of pictures, but those multiple-styles pictures 😉 You can either look as if you’re kicking the pyramid, or leaning against it, or even holding the pyramid. We had lots of fun there and after done with the ‘photoshoot’, we headed to the Sphinx, the statue of a mythical creature with the face of a human and the body of a lion. Sounds creepy.

behind the scenes of us dealing with the strong wind..obviously, no such thing as perfect group jump photos XD

The Sphinx is about 4500 years old btw!! And it was made from a single mass of limestone and surprisingly, no records about it being mentioned in any Egyptian history. People don’t even know its real name.

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the section where the artists illustrate their arts on the papyrus papers to be displayed/sold

After visiting the Sphinx, we left the area around 5-ish since night was so near. We dropped by a shop selling fragrances and essences by Egyptians (rumors are the business is owned by Dodi Al-Fayed’s family, read: Princess Diana) and then proceeded to a papyrus museum. If papyrus rings a bell for you, papyrus is a type of paper produced by Egyptians from the papyrus plant. Inside the museum, we got to see how exactly they transform a pile of papyrus piths into writable papers. It’s not the same as the usual pulps we all know in making normal papers, and the papyrus in fact is durable too. Brilliant inventions!

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Papyrus paper!

We spent 30 minutes inside the museum and then headed to the Nile River cruise. Woohoo!!! I’m so excited seeing the Nile River for everyone in Egypt relies on the river for their daily source of water. Trust me, you can even taste the river water from the local tap water. Ermm, payau.

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panoramic view of the upper deck of the cruise where we waited for our dinner to be ready

We arrived at the Nile River Cruise at 7-ish and dinner wasn’t ready at that time. Locals even flock that place to have birthday or wedding celebrations. Their celebrations are lit guys!! Never knew Egyptians love to party and dance hahhaha. Around 8.30, finally we got to have our dinner and also enjoy the nightview of Nile River. The atmosphere was pretty havoc since locals at another table made a birthday surprise for their family members and with them clapping and singing, everybody inside the dining area cheered for them *points to myself*. LOL. They played Arabic songs and they are pretty catchy too! I bet the most ‘exciting’ part would be the belly dance performance. Shizzzzzzzzzz, I shouldn’t be watching the woman dancing omg…..I never thought that the belly dancer could be that sexy and the crowd was pretty much cheering on her haha. I guess belly dance is pretty common in Arabic/Egyptian culture and everyone’s used to watching it. But definitely, it was an experience.

 

Up next, the Sufi performances. That was the bomb for me cuz it looked so amazing in the dark. Those colours on the Sufi dancer’s outfit were beautiful in pictures. He pretty much spinned for 10 times if I’m not wrong.

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Love how my phone camera brilliantly captured these photos!

We spent a total time of 2 hours on the cruise and alhamdulillah, I’m satisfied with the meal, the entertainment and the view of the Nile River itself :””) We took a lot of pictures and we finally called it a day.

Next day’s plan – streets of Cairo and New Year Eve!!

 

braving the giant waves in life

Since reading is one of my 2017 resolutions, I’m currently trying to read as many books as possible before dental school begins. Ironic isn’t it when most of us could spend hours on Twitter/Instagram/Facebook but couldn’t do the same on books? I mean, of course it is fun watching others updating their lifestyle on Instagram and reading their unspoken thoughts on Twitter, but certainly we wouldn’t have anything precious to be passed down to our future kiddos. Here’s an analogy – books stay, username/password fade. Sincerely, an avid Friendster user yearsss ago.

Reading a lot of books even a hundred of them wouldn’t do you any justice, seriously. What’s the point of reading if you’re not learning? By learning, I mean jotting down any extra knowledge or little things you discover on anything – phone’s memo, sticky notes, notebooks, any crumpled paper you find on the table. Whatever it is, you’ll remember better and can practise in life. Another one, it’s okay if you could not afford to own as much books as others, but please, do repeat reading the books that you already finished because you’ll benefit so much and you will remember those info longer. It all boils down to one thing – executing.

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photo from Google

Enough babbling, here I’d like to share one amazing thing that I’ve learnt from a book I’m currently reading. Hehe it’s 7 Laws of Wealth written by Ben Benson, a speaker cum entrepreneur. I’m not going to tell you the synopsis since it’s a non-fic so Google the title for detailed insights into the content. Right now, I’ll tell you a bit about the stages of grieving that everyone would go through based on what I’ve read from the Law 1: Gain Control chapter.

stages of grieving

Whenever we got hit by major problems and couldn’t find the truest solution, our mind and heart would be hit by numerous feelings. Sometimes, we get unsure. Sometimes, we feel clueless and hopeless. Sometimes, we get angry. Depressed, too. At the same time, we know the clock is ticking but we couldn’t help but to ignore the real question and got drifted away by our emotions. And then, when we couldn’t fix the problem, we got mad and sad. And then grieving happens.

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Picture from Google

So, a Swiss psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross had explained in her book about the Kubler-Ross Grief Curve which has several stages that often we pass through when facing grief or tragedy. I hate how accurate it is, considering I myself couldn’t avoid all her points. Listen, for the path that you’re now on, someone else had been there. Yeap, you’re not alone.

Stage 1 : Denial

This is where everything begins wrongly. Your mind can’t stop saying No, no…. and instead you shift the blame to somebody else. You’re denying the fact that you actually are responsible and should be responsible for your situation. Simple example, you got fired from your job and then you put the blame on your boss. You do not want your hands to get dirty so it’s always others’ faults and you’re now a victim of their immoral actions. Denying won’t do you any good because nothing ever changes in denial.

Stage 2 : Anger

Now the rage starts seeping in. Why the hell my life turns out like this? Why am I not rich/smart already? What about my efforts? Such thoughts begin to bombard your mind and you become confused on your next step. You still can’t see the clear picture of your situation which your responsibility is demanded. And you’re quite happy blaming others and surprisingly, you don’t feel good. It’s like a huge cloud of red mist is surrounding you.

Stage 3 : Bargaining

I know the feeling here. It’s like you’re beginning to realize that hey, maybe I can find some solutions and things will get fixed instantly. Ok, done.

Dumbass. You’re still not accepting full responsibility, are you? So, what you do is you try to bargain. Someone else is also accountable for this thing, not only me. That thought is not good, guys. Not helping at all. As the writer mentioned, you’re now locked into a victim mentality. Obviously, you cannot time-travel to the past and remind the old you about this situation. However, you can always pick a different reaction and wisely decide your outcome for the future as a result. Not merely choosing responsibilities.

Stage 4 : Depression

Depression – a type of mental illness that we always hear online. At this stage, you’d feel terrible for everything that happened and feel like hitting the rock bottom How hard you prayed, things are not changing according to your judgement. And no matter how much efforts have you put in, your situation doesn’t really improve. This is where you become frustrated and all those sadness and withdrawal makes you think “What’s the use of even trying?”.

Stage 5 : Acceptance

The recovery stage. Acceptance is the major key to transformation and also the beginning of a brand new life. This is where you’ll begin to acknowledge that bad things happen and you yourself need to start being more responsible than ever. In Islam, we call it redha. Quoting the writer, when you fully appreciate that you and your choices, decisions, actions, and inactions have brought you to this place, you reclaim your personal power. Everything will only change the moment you start accepting. I myself agree with this since I was so troubled when people mentioned about my situation/problems. Like others said, time heals; but for how long exactly? You shouldn’t drag your feelings way too far because it is torturing your soul quietly. Trust me, I’ve been there.  And now, Alhamdulillah, I’m way over it! Woohoo. You’ll know that you’ve surpassed this stage when you don’t even shed a tear like how you always did in the past. You’ll feel a lot stronger facing the upcoming future and thinking about those old times do not hurt at all.

After accepting, you’ll have better hopes and begin to start new commitments to improve your life 🙂

I ain’t a pro in giving advices but here’s one – everyone would experience shitty stuff and only those strong ones can pull through. You decide which one you want to be, strong or weak?