Based on my understanding, disagreeing is almost similar to saying no. “I disagree with you..” is a common sentence I often heard during interviews; perhaps a more polite way to express your opinion in any kind of discussions. Meanwhile, I sometimes come across some people who couldn’t bother to let others explain but rather interrupt the conversation with “No, it’s not true. No, wrong..” as if our opinions don’t matter at all. (Note to myself too to improve my way of disagreeing). I have a friend who is very opinionated at many things and often our opinions collide. She loves A, I love B. But since we are really really good friends, both of us respect each others’ thoughts. I suppose, some don’t, do they? I’ve seen many friendships collapsing just because people is fighting who is wrong and who is right. In short, who wins the argument. None of that matters in life, except in politics, maybe. Hahaha. It is okay though to have friends who hated your taste of music, who doesn’t seem to understand your obsessions and who wanted to change the real you. As a matter of fact, they’re just friends.
On the other side, we all have that one person around us who could not say NO to things that come in their ways. I know someone close who struggles to say NO to people around her, and she always gets pressured to be doing tasks or assignments that weren’t hers in the first place. Of course it is indeed awesome to say YES to many things. We will feel a lot more accomplished and become everyone’s angels. But, it’s not. Learn when to say YES and when to say NO. You can’t have it all at once. One step at a time.
Personal advice from yours truly:
1/ On the contrary, always think before saying no to others. Is she worth my time? Do I really deserve this task?
2/ If it’s not important enough to be in your top priorities, then just decline it. Decline nicely, and include reasons on why you couldn’t. Relevant reasons, not excuses okay. *coughs*
3/ Spend some time wondering on should I do this and could I do this and do I really want to do this. Know your capabilities and most importantly, protect your priorities.
4/ There are some people in this world who loves to take advantage of others’ kindness. They just won’t stop. So, you should avoid these parasites.
4/ Be firm on your principles. You yourself know whether you feel like doing it or not, so act based on your judgement. Rational judgements, I mean. If everything is fine, then why not say yes?
5/ Never do things for the sake of getting others’ approvals and praises. Saying YES to all things may save you, but it will definitely drown you over time. It’ll exhaust you up to the point where it’s not worth every second. Trust me.
6/ Saying NO doesn’t mean that you do not want to help. It simply implies that you have other priorities to be taken care of. Plus, life isn’t about pleasing everyone. You’ll die trying to please the world.
7/ If you are feeling really guilty of saying NO, you can always provide other suggestions. Like, “I’m sorry to not be able to help, but I can always give you my opinions..” Things like that.
8/ And finally, don’t regret your decision. Saying NO could mean better things for you – more focus on studies, saves your money and saves your time. Everyone has their own responsibilities and you too have yours. So, chill.
A quote to end this post,
“When you say yes to others, make sure you’re not saying no to yourself..”
How do you usually say no to others? Would love to know it 🙂